Cryptic crossword clue
It’s useless when chocolate figure’s misshapen and rigid, as Cockney says 9

The most common and most likely answer to this crossword clue is the 9 letter word FIREGUARD

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Buddy explains!

The straight part
We know that "It’s useless when chocolate" is the straight/definition part of the clue. The straight part is often a synonym or definition, in this case it’s useless when chocolate = fireguard.
The cryptic/wordplay part
In cryptic crossword there's often an wordplay/cryptic part as well.
This part involves a more complex hint, such as an anagram, homophone, hidden word, etc.
Sadly, We don't have an explanation for this specific crossword clue yet.

What does FIREGUARD mean?

FIREGUARD noun
  1. A mesh screen around a fire to prevent sparks or falling embers.

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