The most common and most likely answer to this crossword clue is the 8 plus 4 letter word BREAKING DOWN
I've seen this crossword clue in Independent
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Buddy explains!
The straight part
We know that "Separating/losing emotional control?" is the straight/definition part of the clue. The straight part is often a synonym or definition, in this case separating/losing emotional control? = breaking down.The cryptic/wordplay part
In cryptic crossword there's often an wordplay/cryptic part as well.This part involves a more complex hint, such as an anagram, homophone, hidden word, etc.
Sadly, We don't have an explanation for this specific crossword clue yet.